Blog slash diary slash faithful friend

Tom got served this past week for his child support stuff. I think I always knew this day would come but I also kinda think I hoped it would never happen. As bad as that sounds, it kinda puts things into perspective. Like, she's got 2 children and I have lost 2. And I'm not saying she doesn't deserve them or that I deserve children because I'm starting to think I wouldn't be a very good parent. What I am saying is that I'm surprisingly having a hard time accepting that this is really happening. I'm having a hard time accepting that I'm going to have to share another woman's child and treat him as my own. And of course Tom says "you shouldn't dwell on bad stuff" meaning that I shouldn't dwell on the fact I don't have children yet his ex can have one with no problems (she also smoked the ENTIRE pregnancy). I'm just getting super frustrated. I left early for work today because I didn't want to listen to him talk to her. It's just bothering me and unless it's one of those feelings then I'm not sure what my deal is. Ughhh.