Wednesday, July 13, 2011

5 Week Follow Up.

So, my appointment was at 3:50 yesterday, and I waited for him longer than I saw him.

He's decided that we're going to skip the other tests to rule out any of the other things he thought it might have been that my water broke... Which is good. It makes me feel that I did my research well enough to prove that it WASN'T anything else. I'm confident it's an incompetent cervix and nothing else. We talked briefly about the cerclage's that can be put in place [[my husband and I had already done our research and were beating him to the info; it was awesome :)]] and whatnot. I was "released" to do whatever I wanted. His words were "Whatever, whenever. Anything and everything." He DID tell us to wait at least 2 months before trying again. Which is fine with us because we just started playing softball with "T's" work so we'll be pretty busy with practice and games and whatnot. That, and "T" would like me to find a job, us get some money saved up so that we can start a family and be financially prepared. Now comes the fun part. Finding a job in a new place that doesn't have me doing crazy stuff that will be something I can do once we DO get pregnant again.

The only down side to the appointment yesterday was that I left kinda sad. Sad for 2 reasons. I got the vitals done and sat in a room and waited for my doctor to come in only to look for my baby and he ACTUALLY ASKED US... where our baby was. I was kinda pissed. Who the heck does that? But I have to take into account that my appointment was originally scheduled for the morning, only to get there and check in to find that my doctor was at the hospital taking care of someone who's water broke at 25 weeks. Poor gal. At least her baby is viable and she can be transported to Denver. I never stood a chance :( And the other reason I was sad was because "T" announced THEN that he didn't want to try again any time soon. And, I'm kind of in the same boat. As excited as I am to start trying again, and to have another baby, I'm scared shitless that the same thing will happen again, despite what we'll do. I'm completely terrified. I hope that with these next 6 months, I'll become more confident that the cerclage will protect my baby and keep it on the inside. Because I'm not sure I could do this again and experience the same broken heart. I think I would die.

However, to close this on a positive note, we've got to remember what the symptoms were of an incompetent cervix, and remember how it happened [[as much as I DON'T wanna remember]], and know that that procedure WILL indeed work. We have to stay positive. Right? <3

2 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry your doc was an ass. I'm sorry there is just no excuse you could make for him that makes it ok for him to come in and ask where your baby was. I had a slightly similar experience with my OB when Emily was born. At some point, I think during or after Emily's delivery my OB asked how old our first was. I was really shocked that I had to remind him she was stillborn. I had just spent 9 months with this guy seeing me every other week and he knew I was terrified of losing another and knew all about the cord accident. I think he was just more focused on the fact that I'd had a stroke during that pregnancy. So I think the stillbirth slipped his mind from time to time but I never realized it until he said that in the hospital. And you could see on his face that he felt like a total dumbass for saying that. I just can't believe how fast they can forget such huge details.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I could tell that he regretted the words once they came out of his mouth. He'd had a busy morning, so I tried to chalk it up to that, but my heart still hurt. I guess I had always pictured the perfect doctor, always remembering my name and all my info. It was just an awakening. But with your situation, I could see myself expecting the doctor to remember everything. I like to think that if I were a doctor, I'd remember everything too... but I'm sure that'll never be the case. I'm sorry you doctor forgot about Addi too :(

    ReplyDelete