So, it hit me like a ton of bricks about a week ago. I was sitting on the couch, listening to music on YouTube... and I started crying for, what seemed to me, no reason. After talking with a couple friends, maybe my heart isn't healed... or maybe my heart is healed but my brain isn't. That just didn't make any sense. But as I Googled "Postpartum Depression", I had 8 of the 9 symptoms that WebMD had to offer. All... but suicide. Which is good. I'm not complaining about that part. I PROMISE.
Then the next day, little things set me off to make me cry. Little things like my husband calling from work, wanting to go to lunch and then him showing up 5 minutes later wanting to leave and me being FAR from ready to go. Or a friend who might not actually be a friend chewing my ass for something I didn't intend to do (Don't lie or hide stupid things from your husbands/wives. It's baddddd when someone tells them before you...). Or having to give false apologies to save face with the husbands best friend. Just a bunch of stupid stuff. Evidently that's all normal too.
And then as fast as it showed up, it was gone again. I'm still super spacey and can't focus on a lot of things... and my "bubbly" nature hasn't resurfaced. And I feel super angry and bitter sometimes too. It's just irritating. It seemed like spending 5 days with my husband on his days off really seemed to help. I think it's losing Joseph, living in a small town where I have no one but my husband and having nothing to do that spiked the depression. I like the fact that it's gone [[for now]] and that I'm feeling better about everything. I met a new friend, so I'm hoping that makes the difference too.
No comments:
Post a Comment